This is a document in Serbian and English
where you can find various information concerning
the NATO military action against Serbia.

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1. You are not a Croat.
2. Basketball team.
3. You can choose between several war criminals in Presidential
elections.
4. You can enjoy the positive media coverage of your country when
abroad.
5. You can fight 600 year-old battles against the Turks and their
domestic collaborators, be convinced that it's happening right
now, and not be entirely wrong.
6. You can always go to Greece and Cyprus and fear nothing.
7. Grilled meat and slivovitz.
8. You get to drink slivovitz and eat grilled meat even when
under economic sanctions.
9. You are the only European country which will be bombed by
NATO.
10.Every now and then you get to fly to the Hague at someone
else's expense.

Top ten reasons for being a Croat:

1. You're not a Serb.
2. Soccer team.
3. You get to pretend that your language is different from
Serbian, although it's really not.
4. Dubrovnik.
5. You get to dream about independent Croatia.
6. Every now and then you get to sing "Danke, Danke,
Deutschland," and continue to dream about independent Croatia.
7. You have a thousand-year culture of which no one has heard.
8. You have a democratically elected President who is not ashamed
of being a Croat.
9. The glorious World War Two past.
10.You have a thousand-year culture...

Top ten reasons for being Bosnian:

1. You can get asylum anywhere except in Serbia.
2. You can pretend that your state exists.
3. Kebab.
4. You can pretend that Sarajevo is a really cosmopolitan
European city when you know that it is not.
5. Great kebab.
6. You can be visited by Francois Mitterand, Bernard Henry-Levy,
Susan Sontag, and Bill Clinton and it still doesn't make a
difference.
7. Free round-trip to any Moslem country.
8. You get to be bombed by a psychiatrist.
9. You can fly your flag in the UN but nowhere else.
10.Foreigners give you money and don't ask any questions.

Top ten reasons for being Slovenian.

1. You can speak the beautiful Slovene language and know that no
one cares except you.
2. You can feel superior to all former Yugoslavs.
3. You can drink after work.
4. You can pretend to live on the "sunny side of the Alps,"
although you know it's not that sunny.
5. You can pretend that you are as good as any German while
secretly enjoying the fact that you are a Slav.
6. Good relations with Italy and Austria.
7. You can afford to be Yugo-nostalgic.
8. You can marry a Slovene and have Slovene children who speak
Slovene.
9. You don't have to be ashamed when abroad.
10.No one bothers you because no one really cares.

Top ten reasons for being Macedonian.

1. You can call yourself Macedonian and not get killed by a
Bulgarian, Greek, Serb or Albanian.
2. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon and tobacco.
3. You can pretend you are a descendant of Alexander the Great
and piss off the Greeks.
4. You get to be sad and suffer while listening to folk music.
5. Good relations with your neighbors, especially Greeks and
Albanians.
6. American soldiers on your territory.
7. You get to call your country The Former Yugoslav Republic of
Macedonia.
8. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon, and tobacco.
9. You can successfully pretend your language is not Bulgarian.
10.Everyone is interested in the stability of your country except
your neighbors.

Top ten reasons for being Montenegrin.

1. You can be proud of your heroic past and not being conquered
by the Turks for 500 years.
2. You can sing epic songs about your heroic past and not being
conquered by the Turks for 500 years.
3. You can think of Russia as your Mother, although Russia does
not know you are her son.
4. You can combine orthodoxy with Stalinism with love of Russia
and still think that you are better and more progressive than the
Serbs.
5. Goat cheese, grilled lamb, and grappa.
6. You get to kill at least one person in a vendetta and defend
your honor.
7. If you are a woman you can kill your husband and everyone
knows why you did it.
8. You can smuggle cigarettes to Italy and live like a king.
9. You don't have to work even when you have to.
10.You don't have to work...

Top ten reasons for being Albanian.

1. You can always swim to Italy.
2. You can choose between a president who stole your whole
income, one who killed all your relatives, or go fight the Serbs
in Kosovo.
3. You can be proud of being from "the land of the eagle."
4. You can always swim to Italy.
5. You can take weapons from any army garrison and defend your
honor.
6. You can get killed in a vendetta and be remembered as the hero
of the family.
7. You get to be called the poorest country in Europe.
8. You can live in the ecologically cleanest country in Europe.
9. You can always swim to Italy
10.You are proud of being "from the land of the eagle."

Top ten reasons for being a Yugoslav:

1. You can be proud that you are neither a Serb, nor a Croat, nor
a Slovene, nor a Bosnian, nor a Macedonian, nor Montenegrin, nor
an Albanian, although you are one or more of the above.
2. You don't have to feel bad about being "Yugo-nostalgic."
3.You can have a husband/wife from any part of Yugoslavia and
still feel like the country never fell apart, especially if you
are abroad.
4.You get to listen to Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, Slovenian,
Macedonian, Montenegrin, and even Albanian music and feel that
it's quite OK.
5. You don't have to be ashamed of your Titoist past.
6. You can sing Partisan songs from World War Two or
rock-and-roll from the 1980's.
7. You get to be cosmopolitan and spit on all the nationalists.
8. You get to be researched by foreign sociologists interested in
your identity.
9. You are invited to speak about Yugoslavia at conferences
abroad.
10.You are a good candidate for a Soros stipend.

Miting drzi politicar slavni
srpski ponos, care Slobodane
drzi govor Pozarevcu gradu
Pozarevcu, gradu sarenome
Miting drzi, narod otpozdravlja.
Skupila se sva srpska gospoda
pa je redom na kanabe sadi
sve po casti i po starjesinstvu.
U vrh stola slavni Slobodane
mirno sjedi, hladan viski pije.
Viski pije, havanom se sladi
ljepse mu je no Josipu Brozu.
Taman pise Dzonija Vokera,
o raznome pricase porezu
al' proseta Mirjana djevojka
Lako seta po carskom divanu
na njojzi je do devet cvetova
ispod grla devet zlatnih kajli
a na glavi rujna kosa crna.
U ruci joj knjiga Zjuganova
Zjuganova, knjiga sitnog slova
sitnog slova, velike mudrosti
sve mudrosti za srpskoga cara.
Pa besjedi caru Slobodanu:
Gospodine, care Slobodane
Zazor mene u te pogledati
A kamoli s tebe govoriti!
Bit' ne moze, govoriti hocu:
Sto bijase nama cara Broza
carovase dok ne preminuse,
ne trpase on na Kipar blago
vec gradise njime bjele vile
bjele vile i zlatne cardake
Sagradio mnoge zaduzbine!
Sagradio bjelu Kucu Cveca,
bjelu Kucu povrh Biograda,
u Uzickoj sebi vilu slavnu,
bunker bjeli podno Dobanovca,
Povrh Kranja cardaka od zlata!
Sve to jesu Broza zaduzbine
nekad Broza, a danas su nase
Ti ostade u stolu Brozovom
a na Kipar ti potrpa blago
ne sagradi zaduzbine svjetle!
Eto nama nece pristat blago
za izbore, za penzionere
Niti nama niti kojem od nas
Drpio si sebi Bjela dvora
po njemu se baskaris lijepo!
Tad govori slavni car Slobodan:
Cujete li, svi ministri srpski
sta govori Mirjana djevojka
jer ne gradim nigdje bjele vile,
niti vila nit zlatna cardaka
jer ne gradim nidje zaduzbine?
Sagradicu Bambilenda grada
Bambilenda, lepseg od Stambola
i od bjelog Vasingtona grada!
Dici cu ga pokraj Pozarevca,
Pokraj grada i Madone slavne!
Imam blaga koliko mi drago
udaricu betonske temelje
a zidove od mramora bjela
i krovove od suvoga zlata.
Bambilend cu sagradit veliki
Gradicu ga porezom velikim
i velikim a joste strasnijim!
Gradice ga raja zabadava
zabadava radnici priprosti
njih cu pricom dobro obrlatit
gradice, a plate trazit nece
kano sto se u Srbiji radi!
Ako koji paricu zaiste,
na njega cu Seselja vezira
izdajicom njega cu pokazat
izdajicom, stranim placenikom
na radiju, u svim novinama
i na miloj mi televiziji
neka takvog Srbija ga pozna
da ga pljuje i da mu se ruga!
Tad ustali svi ministri srpski
svi ustali, aplauz ne stede
niti svoje bjele ruke vredne.
Stezu ruku caru Slobodanu:
Gradi care, bice ti za dusu
i za dusu i za vjecnu slavu
a za bujrum carevicu Marku!
No tu sjedi Karic Bogoljube
sjedi brkat udno kanabeta
sjedi tako, ne bjesedi nista
nego samo ljutim okom sjeva.
Al to vide care Slobodane
vide Bozu, trnci ga spopanu
zasto cuti Karic Bogoljube
zasto cuti, ne bjesedi nista
poplasi se, viski narucuje.
Nazdravlja mu viskijem najskupljim
sve sa ledom, u peharu zlatnom
jedan pije, drugi otpisuje
Bogoljubu, strasnome junaku!
Progovara care Slobodane
progovara ustima zlatnijem
rec govori, grlo mu se stislo
i junacko srce u grudima.
Zdrav da si mi Karic Bogoljube,
Bogoljube, ministre najdrazi!
Reci i ti rec koju pametnu
jer ja hocu Bambilend graditi.
Skoci Karic od zemlje na noge
skide s glave samur i celenke
pa se hvata viskija najskupljeg
sve sa ledom, u peharu zlatnom
pa je casno caru otpisao.
Al ne pije viskija najskupljeg
nego stade caru govoriti:
"Vala care na bjesedi tvojoj!
sto ti oces Bambilend graditi
vreme nije niti moze biti!
Uzmi care knjige sve ustavne
sve ustavne i poreske pride
te pogledaj sto ti knjige kazu
okani se Bambilenda grada!
Nastalo je posljednje vrijeme
Hoce NATO tvoje carstvo rusit
Hoce NATO nama carovati
Oborice nase vile bjele,
nase vile i cardake zlatne,
oborice a trepnuti nece
U njih ima raznoga hajvana
tomahavka oruzja strasnoga
i jos pride vranih aviona
dzaba tebi Bambilenda tada!
Usjelice nase bjele dvore
bjele dvore i cardake zlatne
tvoj ce tada zlatan viski piti
zlatan viski iz zlatnog pehara
jelom ce se tvojim osladiti
i tvoje ce havane pusiti
i tvojim ce carstvom stolovati!
Vlast ce dati poslednjoj fukari
fukari i stranom placeniku!
Raji posla, bogami i para,
demokratske dace im slobode!
Politiku oduzet ce tebi,
oduzeti, a Panicu dati
ili kakvoj jos crnjoj fukari!
Na vlast ce ga nasu milu dati
vlast kradenu, dobro sakrivenu
a nama ce sipak bjeli dati!
Uzjece ti i televiziju
pa se vise pojavljivat neces.
Nestace te ko da te ni ne bi,
i nama se onda crno pise!
Vec me slusaj care Slobodane
otprav pare ka ostrvu Kipru
otprav pare u riznice nase
misli na se, a misli i na nas
sto ti carstvo ovakvo drzimo!
Naoruzaj policajce mlade,
pa ih salji po zemlji Srbiji
a najvise do televizije!
Samo oni joste su nam verni,
samo oni, a ne gola raja.
Unistavaj ti zemlje Srbije
jer je takvu NATO iskat nece!
Pleni pare, zatvaraj fabrike
i zatvaraj ti fukaru glasnu
da ne prica sto se cutat mora!
Od Srbije ti zatvor sacini
u kojem ces vazda na vlast biti!
Kad to zacu care Slobodane
udari se u celo veliko
a bjela mu kosa zatalasa
otpi potom iz pehara zlatna
Bogoljubu stade govoriti:
"Vala tebe Bogoljub-ministre
Vala tebe na mudrosti tvojoj
nijesam dzaba tebe sacuvao
sacuvao, medije ti dao
i medije i bogatstva razna
istina je sve sto ti govoris,
al mudriji bicu ja od tebe!
Bambilenda bice bijeloga
Bambilenda od mramora bjela
a krovovi od suvoga zlata!
Policije zaboravit necu
jer mi oni vlasti odrzase
a volim ih vise nego vojsku!
Zovite mi Seselja vezira
da poreze on raspise strasne
da oglobim sirotinju raju
da ucuti praznoga stomaka!
Porez ce mi dici Bambilenda
bez otpora puka bijednoga
dici cu ga carevicu Marku
i unuku, svome nasledniku!
Spremite mi govore velike
izdajicu spomenite svaku
a srpske mi casti osvetlajte
da je meni vlasti dovijeka!
Nece NATO na zemlju Srbiju
nece NATO, njega se ne bojim
dok je meni starog car-Borisa
i njegova Zjuganov-vezira!
Bice blaga svakome do mene
joste vise na ostrvu Kipru
ne bojte se za unuke svoje
dok je raje i dok je Srbije.